I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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