Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
