You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
