Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
