omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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