I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
