Where are you?
In a non slutty way
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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