I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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