if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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