I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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