Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
