i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
