My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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