Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
