so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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