Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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