Say something about gay babies.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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