can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
