i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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