I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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