Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I didn't notice because vodka
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
