Taylor Swift is so right about you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
