I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
