Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We named our party play list daddy issues
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
