hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
