That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
