we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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