Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
