The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
