I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize