i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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