I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
