just come out here and I will go home with you...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
