oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
