You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
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Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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