I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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