You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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