and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
where am i from again
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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