i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
