I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
the liver wants what the liver wants
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
