I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
