Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize