my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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