If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
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Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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