70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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