And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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