im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
