The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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