She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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