Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize