You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
