But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
