sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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