he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
