if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
