If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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