Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
