Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
