I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
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Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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