We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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