How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
