I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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