i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
