I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
